Wednesday, May 26, 2010

you know, it's funny.. you can stop talking to a few people for a while just to see if they'll ask you how you are doing once in a while, and they never talk to you.

I chose to stop talking to a few people for a little while for reasons of my own, good reasons, and none of the people in question have acknowledged my existence. It's sad, sometimes they will even show up at the same place I am at, where they KNOW i'm at, and never come say hi to me.

Friends come and go, I suppose..

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

My weakness is, that I care too much.

Today was really one of those more negative days. Because I have this blog all planned out, i'm not going to talk about my day in detail, but rather some things that have been floating around in my head due to some occurrences today.

I decided not to write about one thing that happened today because i'm cooled off and don't feel like this is the place for it. So, that leaves me with a subject that I have plenty to say about, so i'll get to it.

I feel like there are a few people in my life who only choose to be around me when they NEED me, not just to hang out or talk or anything. There are "friends" that I have that will go weeks, sometimes even a month without talking to me or acknowledging I exist, then when they NEED something, they appear out of the black holes of the universe, talk to me, hang with me once, and they again vanish.

I'm so sick and fucking tired of this.

I'm not some resource to be used only when you need me, and if you choose to act this way towards me chances are I don't consider you a real friend. Harsh words? Too bad. To be totally honest i'm in a real DGAF (Don't give a fuck) attitude lately and this includes not giving a fuck about worrying about people that don't respond when I text them asking how they are or if they wanna hang out, or people who just hit me up once in a blue moon when they need something, or maybe they're looking for some mad sympathy because nobody else will give it to them and they know in the back of their head that "Hey, Ryan will be there for me!"


Maybe its my fault for being a NICE GUY, who the hell knows. I'm tired of this, as you can see, and i'm to the real point where I am done with this bullshit. You want me to consider you a true friend, prove it to me. It's not that hard..

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Would you like some bitching with that whine?

If there's one thing I will never understand, it is society's ability (and need, it seems) to complain about the smallest, most insignificant things.

Today at work, a customer came in with his lifted, 4WD quad-cab pickup truck. I had remembered seeing him before, but only once in the 8 months I have been at my current job. Usually when people come into the area where he does, they get the interior cleaned, but when he drove up and exited the vehicle, having just come from the wash tunnel, he told us that he only wants the exterior of his truck towel-dried, and that's it. Cool.

I dry off the vehicle completely, and let him know it is ready. I should also tell you that his truck has custom wheels, and MOST vehicles that have custom wheels ask for "armor all", which is what we will call it, to shine their tires. Well, he also requested no armor all.

He comes out, and asks if I could polish his chrome tailpipes (like most trucks, his had twin pipes out the back). I said sure, and went ahead and did it.

He exclaims, not a second later "I want my wheels done better than that!"" Apparently, he wanted his wheels wiped off, something I wasn't planning on doing since he pretty much made it clear he didn't want his wheels touched.

I call a co-worker over and we wipe the water off his precious wheels, which mind you, were off-road rims and tires that I DOUBT had ever seen a speck of dirt, kind of a waste of money to lift a truck so obnoxiously high, throw on some big tires and robust wheels and just drive around on the street dont'cha think?

So ANYWAY, we do that, and I send this prick on his merry way. He stops the truck just as he is pulling out, backs up, parks, and gets out. He exclaims "Can someone do my inside windows please?"


Again, it goes back to two things here. One, I hadn't ever seen this guy and his truck but once before, and two, he had only wanted the outside done. Now normally, like I said, when a car pulls in we do the inside, wipe the dash and clean the windshield and all interior windows. He exclaims "Come on guys, I come in at least twice a week"..

...well, good for you! I haven't seen you but once before so it doesn't really matter how much you come in, I haven't seen you often, so I have no idea what exactly it is you want done to your truck, so you better be pretty damn specific and tell me, and NOT get fussy with me when everything you want doesn't get done because YOU lack proper communication.


Far later in the day, my fiance and I decided we were hungry, so we went to grab some food. We ended up at a buffet-style restaurant because we were both super hungry :) Whilst dining, we overheard an older lady complaining about how they didn't have cottage cheese and she wanted to speak with the manager...


You serious? There are people in this world who don't eat because they have no food, and YOU have the audacity to complain about, of all things, cottage fucking cheese? Jesus christ on a pogo stick.

I lost a slight bit of faith for humanity every time I encounter people like the above-mentioned in life.

But, not to be cliche, THAT'S LIFE.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Family (?)

If certain people come across this blog, it is bound to create a stir. But, here's the thing about that..

..I don't care. I write to vent my frustrations, don't read it if you don't like it.

I've come to realize that no matter how much you promise to "stand by family, thick and thin", that there are circumstances where that becomes such a blatant lie. Maybe it becomes a lie on your part, maybe on the other member's part, or maybe a combination of both. What I do know, is that within the last 10 months or so, things have become so topsy-turvy with one side of my family, that I refuse to believe that I even know them anymore.

How are you going to favor someone who isn't "blood family" we'll call them, over someone who is? Yeah, she was his wife, but I am his SON, his OWN flesh and blood, and you refuse to let me talk or even ASK me what's going on. You really think that the grandson/nephew/what have you that you've watched grow from a baby to a grown man, would distance himself at such a great length for no reason? Obviously, you don't know me at all, and I don't know you, either.

Cliff notes thus far, for those who don't know the deal:
My father died last year, left behind me, my brother and his wife. His wife creates confusion between us, says some not-so-nice things, my brother leaves for college and I don't visit her because of what she has said/done. My family chooses her side (again, over their own flesh and blood), never asks me why I don't visit or what is wrong. I get the accurate (as far as I can tell, and i'm no idiot) impression that that side of the family (save for a few wonderful cousins of mine <3) no longer favors me, or wants anything to do with me.

I caution any of the members of the family who may have come across this, you're about to hear the truth from me, it may hurt, but I hope maybe you'll understand a few things, because you're not gonna listen to me anyway, I feel.

I never went out and visited any of you, or took vacation with dad or his wife to see you, because my brother and I never even knew about them. Never were invited, nothing. He chose to exclude us from most things in his life, the only times we ever got a call from him were if grandpa and grandma were coming up to visit. Our birthdays? We called. Christmas? Thanksgiving? ANY other holidays? WE CALLED.

Hell, even just to say hello, we had to call him, he never called us out of the blue to see how we were. Have you ever forgotten your son's birthday before? Has your father ever forgotten your birthday? Do you know how that feels? Because I do.

I'm tired of being the quiet one who never stands up and says what is on his mind, that part of me is gone, like it or not, I, in my current "stand up for myself" state, am here to stay.